This is my 47th journal.
Today was another painful day for me. It’s uncomfortable for me because I got nagged or scolded for my lack of soft skills and lack of operational thinking. It’s already May and I joined the company in October of last year. So I’m kind of expecting that I will be fired anytime soon because if I’m the boss I will be taking myself: why would I want to keep this kind of person around?
There are of course lots of way forward for me. I can decide to say fuck this shit and quit my job first and look for a new one. But is that going to help? No. It will be the same with the new company. My weakness will still be very apparent. The other way forward would be me identifying the problem areas and the action plan to fix them, either concurrently or one by one.
I am choosing the latter. Yesterday, my boss introduced the concept of 5% more based on the book, 5% More: Making Small Changes to Achieve Extraordinary Results. Since I want to improve myself, I went to get the book too. So now I’m waiting for it to arrive. Then I can read it to see how I can apply to my situation.
Anyway, I suspect part of the reason for my so many weakness was due to my “sheltered” life. My first job, admittedly wasn’t that uncomfortable. I think it could be because I didn’t drive myself. Two, my former boss knew I don’t tolerate stress well and so didn’t give me anything big.
Now let me list down the major problems that affect my professional life:
- Doing discovery work without taking into account operational matters
- Inability to write concisely and accordingly based on my target audience
- Lack of confidence and fear of making a “business” decision
- Not taking complete ownership of the assigned task
- Introducing unnecessary complexity or redundancies in my work.
- Tendencies to apply 80% of the time to 20% of the problem.
Now that I have identified them, I will to start breaking them down so that I can develop an action plan to improve all these problems, 5% at a time.
Oh, before I forget, today I also presented the custom API management UI developed by my colleague and I got another thrashing down by my boss again because I didn’t take care of the consistency and the correctness of the whole UI. I am supposed to check the work several times before the demo today.
So again, it is back to my major problem: Not taking complete ownership for the assigned task.
Put it this way, I am responsible for the API Gateway side of things. Remember the Kong API gateway? The five major problems I listed came into play with relation to this task.
No point crying over spilled milk. Move forward, learn and improve myself.
Here I conclude my journal for today.