Journal #129 – Supposed to be a chilling Sunday

There isn’t much for me to update for today.

I spent most of my morning and early afternoon playing Assasin Creed and Watch Dogs 2. I was having a tension headache for most of the day caused by my extensive time in front of a screen.

Then I went for a run with my new running shoes. I wanted to run for 10km. So the moment I start, the running experience felt different from when I was wearing my Adidas shoes, which was meant to be light, airy, and for runners with normal feet. Although the shoes were heavy, it felt comfortable wearing it. Running in them felt like my feet were properly supported and my joints didn’t felt very painful. I was able to run faster in them.

Until…
At around 5.30km mark, my left feet hurt extremely bad at where the arch of my feet is. It felt like the tendons in my feet are being pulled apart. So I stopped running and walked instead. A brief googling revealed that it could be Plantar fasciitis. While walking, or when waiting at the traffic light, I shifted my feet around in my shoe until I hit the right angle where it stopped hurting when I walked. I cut the run short and since it was raining anyway, I decided to go home at 6.15km mark.

So at home, when I took out my shoes, I realized that my left shoe was more loose than my right. I suspect it could be because I didn’t tighten my shoe properly that lead to over-pronation during the run.

Anyway, until dinner, it was just me watching YouTube video and then I decided to rent a movie called Train to Busan on iTunes. I only watched the first quarter of the show before it’s dinner time.

The dinner was home-cooked pasta with tomato sauce, prawns, and hotdogs but the mood of the dinner was kind of ruined half way. It also ruined my mood to watch the movie.

Now, I don’t write this kind of thing here but then it’s the kind of situation that I have to deal with every other day at home. Have been dealing with that since I was little but then it doesn’t mean it isn’t stressful.

Come to think of it, the situation I faced every other day at home also serve as a great example of why personal development, especially on the EQ side, and self-awareness is so important. It doesn’t matter if the situation is with family, professional, or friends but if you lack those two, you pretty much ruined any relationship that you have. And these two topics are why I restarted my blog in the first place. I wanted to document my daily journey, what I have encountered, and my thoughts.

I’m not saying I don’t have any flaws since I’m a work in progress. I’m not an empath but I have more self-awareness now, which opened up new opportunities. I also know when I got a problem and it is affecting my relationship with my friends or co-workers.

So the situation at home revolves around my dad. I dare say he lacks the EQ. If he had, he won’t be so sensitive and snapped at family members at the slightest of comments about lifestyle or him. Then he will get somewhat physical, doesn’t matter if it’s against persons or objects. I don’t know if he is aware that his behavior pretty much ruin the atmosphere and mood at home, and raise cortisol levels across. Now even if he is aware, it does look like he doesn’t even to try to improve. From time to time, it feels like he’s treating the family as a punching bag. That’s also why my relationship with him is cool, not neutral, or warm.

Yes, this is me doing an audit of one of my family members. It’s part of how you can improve your life. If I take a step further, it means to excise the toxicity, which is hard to do when it comes to family.

Of course people can say that as family, we should work to improve each other. But then this is a traditional Chinese family, where the father is the head of the family and doesn’t like being challenged by underlings. If you challenge him, you get snapped at and suffer verbal abuse. I already had enough of that so in this case I think only his peers of roughly the same age can help. It’s just like how my friends helped me or mentored me.

Now I’m just making assumptions here, but I would think that it’s much easier for me to work with someone with Asperger’s or high-functioning autistism.

Anyway, that’s all for now.

Here I conclude my journal for today.