Journal # 136 – Being me

Type 6 INFP. Highly-sensitive person.

These are just labels that pretty much describe who I am. Even the Big-Five personality traits model also indicate the same core traits that revolve around the following:

I don’t do anything if I don’t get the sense or feeling of security or safety. I rely a lot on verbal assurance and/or physical presence to even get through my daily work, especially if I’m dealing with something totally new. This is where I will need to work on my competency that will give me the confidence to deal with situations.

I get stressed out when I have to work in a chaotic or noisy environment. That’s just too much stimulations of my senses. This is where I will need to learn how to unwind and create “me” time at the end of a work day.

I get severely upset after getting criticized on my work a couple of times. This affects my confidence and passion in my work. It will cause quality to fall rapidly. Left uncheck, I will slip into depression. I need to learn to let it go and be a little more professional. Need to remind myself that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

I get stressed out when people even raised their voice slightly when talking to me. I can pick up on the tones, the intent, and mood.

I hate it when I have to keep doing repeating or monotonous work. Making it worse would be to do it within a tight deadline. The only way to prevent me from stressing out about doing repeating work would be to give me something new to do or let me do some personal projects. If left undealt with, I will also slip into depression.

I get upset when I’m forced to do work that doesn’t align with my personal value or stances. It causes massive internal turmoil. I have since learn to let things go from time to time but it still affect me quite badly if I’m not careful.

I need a very long time to recharge after work. That means I can get burnt out a lot faster. That’s why learning to say no, developing my ability to schedule and prioritize work, and learning to compartmentalize is very important. I need to create enough “me” time so that I can recharge in any given 24-hour window.

I hate to be at the center of any attention. I prefer to be behind the scene, and not deal with any people. I prefer to be the side-kick.

Certain smells, noises, and lights overwhelm and upset me. I can learn to manage this but at the same time, letting people know and hope the understand is also as important.

I get hangry and it heightens my already sensitive senses, causing me to get even more upset if I smell certain smells, hear certain type of noise or see certain type of lights. Try imagine to live with your senses tuned all the way up. I can of course learn to manage this.

I hate fakery. For example, I’m a casual person and that dressing up is putting on a fake image. This is akin to stepping on my personal value. I can learn to let it go.

I am open to new experiences but only if they are intellectual-related. Any other type of new experiences may require a little more effort on my part to be uncomfortable but my stress coping mechanism has to be able to handle it.

There are probably many more but I will figure them out as I go through life. Now to achieve success in my life, personal development and growth is very important. I need to figure out a way to work on improving on the above traits, especially those that will affect my professional life.

Here I conclude my journal for today.