Journal #149 – Collections of Thought Snippets

Thought #1

There was a period of time in my life when I actually felt I shouldn’t be writing so much or posting so much on Facebook. I feared being judged. So I stopped for a while. But it turns out to be a mistake. I’m someone who needed a medium, a venue or something to just write on and share. It helps me de-stress and declutter my mind. When it’s not enough, I will find someone to talk to.

Thought #2

When you have interact with me long enough, you will find that my language usage sometimes come across as odd. It’s not intentional. It’s just that when we are discussing about something, my mind is in a certain context and my responses are based on whether they agree with certain rules in the context in my mind (which is not visible to another person). Not sure if you understand what I meant…

Thought #3

I know sometimes I do come across as whiny but I like my individuality too. Sometimes, I will randomly make some odd comments or ask odd questions. Some of my friends call me Random Brandon. All in all, I am grateful for that friendship and appreciate you, my dear friends, for letting me be myself.

Thought #4

I do get upset when people are dismissive of or disagreeing with certain topic or things, especially the ones that have actually helped me immensely in my personal life. It’s because I identified myself with certain things, and those things has somehow given me some kind of individuality. It’s like I finally found myself and then when you disagree with it, it felt like my identity is taken away from me again, inadvertently violating my foundational value of individuality . But I always try my best to catch myself from making any angry comments because at the end, it is just someone else’s opinion, and I don’t need to give a shit. What I can do also is to take it under advisement if it is really a good advice.

Thought #5

Instead of using our vast manufacturing capabilities to create something meaningful and useful, we now shift to production of useless trinkets, keychains, and decorative magnets while consuming more and more of our earth natural resources.

Thought #6

You know what’s hard? Living in a bustling world and you are a highly-sensitive person where your mind just absorb everything around you, the colors, the smell, the noises, etc. You become just dead tired at the end of the day.

Thought #7

I have a lot of anxiety because of my low self-esteem and lack of confidence. When I’m stressed, it is even more pronounced. The anxiety feeds into the stress which caused me to make mistakes. When I make mistakes, I suffer from anxiety attack. It just goes on and on.