Journal #208 – Mentally and physically exhausted again

The title does make it look like I’m someone who doesn’t have a lot of endurance. I mean I only worked full-time for 2 months and now I’m already at a point where I didn’t want to go to work anymore. Well, we are simply different. No need to compare.

And it is definitely different from my first two weeks at my current job where I was feeling depressed about doing full-time job, the shift in my sleeping hours, and losing my mobility.

Right now, I don’t know whether it’s due to my lack of sleep or due to my falling sick yesterday.

Maybe it’s both.

I mentioned that I tend to sleep after 1am during my one month career break back in August and I only wake up at around 9 am or 10 am. Even with that, I still feel energetic. With this job, I have to adapt and force myself to sleep before 12 am and wake up at 6.50am. The thing is I don’t sleep exactly at 12. By the time I actually go into sleep state is about 30 minutes later. And so I am actually getting less than my 7 hours of sleep everyday. Add that up over five days at least, then one month. You get the idea.

You can say that I should probably sleep earlier. Yes, I agree but it just means I will have shorter amount of time I can spend winding down emotionally and doing stuff like consuming content and writing. I am just not sure if that’s healthy for me either. Maybe I will try tonight

Anyway, this morning when I woke up I had a blocked nose which I had to blow constantly. Left over from yesterday’s cold, I think. Right now, one side of my nose is still blocked. Combine with that I’m feeling dizzy with tired eyes, all from excessive computer use.

In fact I felt so tired and uncomfortable that even during project meeting, I can’t be bothered. I am simply disinterested and wanted to go home.

Good news is that the vast majority of the basic functionality that I’m working on is done. It’s good for deployment and testing next week. Just left one rather major issue with Microsoft Kerberos and NGINX. Once that is resolved, we will need to test enabling SSL for the web services used by the client application.

Alright, I’m just too tired to be doing anything else and I also just finished watching Star Trek Discovery. It’s a pretty decent show. At least it’s watchable and I at least cared a little about the characters like Stamet and Burnham.