Journal #226 – Came across as Self-absorbed, a work in progress

I just got a revelation today. It turns out I wasn’t self-aware enough at all. In a way. If I am, I would have work to ensure I didn’t come across as self-absorbed.

A friend of mine told me today that I was being a little to self-centered and putting myself as morally superior in my writing.

That came as a result of a Facebook post I made regarding millennial being not entitled. I presented a very weak argument and a contradiction.

I admit I posted that as a result of an emotional response to the title of an article I read. That was a mistake. I should have read the article properly, processed it more deeply and find a context before jumping the gun. It’s a tendency of mine and I will need to work on that.

So I deleted that post and moved on.

With that feedback, I actually went over my old journal entries and concluded that a vast majority of my entries are all showing that I’m totally self-absorbed.

Let’s see what are some of the traits of being a self-absorbed person.

A quick google and I picked this Lifehacks article, 15 signs of Self-absorbed People

And below are the 15 signs:

  1. They are always on the defensive
  2. They don’t see the big picture
  3. They are imposing
  4. They feel insecure sometimes
  5. They always think they are superior to others
  6. They consider friendships a tool for getting what they want
  7. They are extremely opinionated
  8. They do not have long lasting relationships
  9. They do not have a real sense of empathy
  10. They hide their insecurities behind a cloak of success
  11. They devalue others
  12. They can be arrogant
  13. They hide who they are
  14. They are extremely selfish
  15. They think they are great and the world out there is wrong

Other than number 6, and to a certain extent 7, I have all the remaining traits at various degree.

I suppose if someone didn’t point it out, I will continue to fault this and never really grow. But I suppose it shows that I am not as self-aware as I thought I am. That’s bad but I know I can do better than this and I will.

Of course, I am not a good judge of my own self when it comes to improvement. Instead I will let other people decide if I have improved in anyway. All I can do is be aware of everything I do and be open to feedback so that I can grow to be a better person than I was yesterday.

And I have to be patient because changes to your personality and thinking are progressive. I will also let the other journals remain as they are (the past me will probably delete all of them and restart) so that people and myself are able to see the changes I have gone through.

Because being human is both ugly and beautiful.