Journal #261

I spent nearly ten and a half hours at work. It’s like history is repeating again.

What did I achieve?

Inbox zero after I moved a whole bunch of emails to either the deleted folder or sort them accordingly to their nature.

Design, implement, test, and made ready a feature with the help from my colleagues and working with a set of codes which I have never touched, read, and understood before today in four hours.

What happened

In the morning, I met up with my colleague at the customer’s office to do some troubleshooting and gain better understanding of what’s going on with a specific problem that we encountered in the customer’s environment yesterday.

After finding out what’s wrong and sharing the finding, my team lead called me a short while later to go back to office in the afternoon to fix some other critical issues.

So after lunch with my colleagues, I went back office. It turned out, my team lead want me to implement a previously mentioned feature about presenting the full path of a tree node as a tooltip.

That’s what I did and managed to achieve.

What went wrong and moving forward

Due to the rushed and urgent work, I chose to let quality slip. That means, I skipped some local testing and deploy the application straight to the development server. Then I went ahead to implement my part of the feature in the client application. After I was done, I tested the feature and checked the database for correctness.

So far so good.

But when it came to the other API, which I changed to support this feature, there were some update problem. The problem was only discovered after my colleague tested that API after she was done with her other tasks. After reviewing, it turns out in my rapid copy and pasting, wrong functions were called due to the overloaded nature. So in a way, it was mis-implementation as I would call it.

So I went ahead and fixed those problems and redeploy the application to the server. More testing, all good.

So yes, it is my fucking fault that I didn’t test more. The past me probably will beat myself up over it.

You know what? No, what’s done is done. Fix the aftermath and move the fuck on. There is no time to dwell on that bullshit. Time is better spent elsewhere.

How I feel

I found myself in a mix of anxiety, high-functioning, rapid fire, and impatient mood while I went about implementing the feature.

And I hate entering into that state because it means my mind now is overstimulated. Therefore, I don’t think I can for the next hours. With that, I probably will go without much sleep tonight and I don’t have a solution for this.

I hated, and no, I will not accept without protest, being called to do last minute work. To me, there is no such thing as urgent work. There is only important work. Important work are things like the novel that I want to write, the journal I want to write or taking care of my mental and physical health. Implementing a feature for next day deployment is not important. These things should be scheduled properly so that proper design, implementation, and testing can be done for higher quality.

If you want to talk to me about opportunity costs and expectations, well, I can tell you up front I don’t really care about climbing ladders because I know what I want in my life.

And that is?

Simple, High Quality, and Hyper-Focused Life.

Anything else you get from me is a side-effect of me living this life.

What I will do

Since I probably can’t sleep very well tonight, I might as well go without it and focus on doing some writing. At least until my mind and body decided to break. Only then I will migrate to my bed.

People probably suggest meditation but personally, I just don’t have that kind of patience and will find myself even more pissed off while trying to get my mind to calm down. So doing something is better.

Being Grateful

I am grateful for having nice colleagues who totally gets me.