Journal #289

It is impossible to change the people or culture around you. The only thing you can do is to change yourself or remove yourself from the situation.

What happened

I went to work as usual today and spent most of my time discussing with my colleagues on the approach to build the next module.

After much discussion, it turns out that module’s main purpose is to be a gateway, serving as a middleman between the client application and a backend engine that will be provided by our sub-contractor.

So with that, I felt that there is really no point in doing micro-services or trying to structure the codes according to the definition of bounded-context.

Later in the day, my colleague and I had a discussion about the current application. We realized that there were a series of mis-implementation with some of the functions. There are also some use-case implementation difficulty, which stemmed from the use of micro-service architecture.

So we discussed further on solutions and implemented those solutions.

After that, I actually commented this is the end result of us doing coding first without discussing and identifying the use cases, alternative flows and potential issues.

Code first instead of design-first always lead to quality issue. 
Because seriously, unless I’m completely wrong, majority of people 
don’t have the discipline.

This is something that I'm acutely aware of. In part, I want quality output. Thus, I have this strong desire that we should all follow 
with discipline in the application of some kind of proven 
methodologies or processes, be it waterfall or agile or whatever. 
Those methodologies or processes are there because people have 
already experienced issues and came up with those as solutions.

Then in the name of rushing deliverables and keeping everything 
within budget, we take shortcuts. After that, we didn't even bother 
to go back and try to fix the issues. The company is also 
contradicting themselves because the it put us through a series of 
courses, preaching the importance of process. Yet the people don't 
bother to enforce or practice. Well, they practice it only when it 
affects their audit scorecard or bottomline. 

That alone is actually very disgusting. Personally.

At the same time, I kind of decided that maybe micro-service is completely wrong in this project. My colleagues did protest against the use of micro-service because it split things up unnecessary and introduced unneeded complexity. I guess they are right.

So with that, I suggested that tomorrow I will talk to the team leader to merge everything back into a monolithic application. That way, everyone can just rely on tighter database integration to achieve whatever function they want. I mean that’s what my colleagues want also because it’s the fastest for them.

In part, I'm very tempted by my feelings that maybe don't even bother with structuring the codes for the new module we will need to work 
on next anymore.

Why?

Personally, I strongly believe in either doing it right or don't do 
it at all. And in order to do it right, you need to experiment the 
crap out of something and that need time and resource. Something that companies don't have abundant of.

The management and the customer don't give a ratass about how ugly 
the codebase is because it doesn't pay the bills. They only care 
about the delivery of functions on time because that is the only 
metric that matter. 

So I'm asking myself why even put myself in this painful position of fighting against the status quo of how things are done there, which 
is just throw in whatever works and ship.

Halfway through my work day, at around 3pm, the sole of one of my Nike AirMax decided to separate from the shoe’s body.

So I tried to look for some kind of superglue but nobody have it. I decided to use a stapler to staple the sole against the body to hold it for a while.

After work, I went to the Nike Factory Store near my workplace and spent quite a while looking for a pair of shoes that I like. I finally found one, asked one of the staff to get a size UK 9. Tried that and felt it was a little too tight. So I got UK 9.5 instead.

After getting my shoes, I went home, dispose of my current one and shoved the new shoes into the shoes cabinet. Had a shower and dinner.

How I feel

There’s just so much turmoil going on within me that I am having trouble focusing and making decisions, even those based on feelings.

For example, all of my purchase decisions are based on how I feel about a certain product. Today, that decision pathway is so badly blocked that I have a hard time processing. Thus, I spent longer than usual buying a pair of shoes. Making the situation worse is decision making based on rationality isn’t my strength. Therefore, now I am not even sure if I made any right decision. So… I don’t even know if I got the right pair of shoes.

How I can grow

I will need to develop my rational decision making process to be stronger and not rely on my feelings so much. Because, today is a great example of what happens when the feeling-decision making process is in trouble. I can barely get anything done.