Journal #316

After yesterday’s early rest, I actually felt better today. By that, I mean I was feeling neutral and wasn’t as grumpy as the days before.

Today was another deployment day because next week, the users want to play with the application. A big part of me is feeling quite anxious because I am a glass is half empty kind of guy. The application is just so full of bugs that I am not even sure if I am proud to let them use it.

I know most people will say it’s impossible to be perfect. I also know it’s impossible because we are human. However, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to achieve it. And I know what we have isn’t even close to good.

So after the deployment, my team lead and I did a quick test and found that everything is working as intended. I also took the chance to prepare the system with the necessary data but it wasn’t complete. There’s just too much stuff to put in. Therefore, I will have to do the rest next Tuesday.

Then I had an early lunch with another colleague who happened to be at the customer’s office. Meanwhile, my team lead took his leave because he has to catch a flight home, back to China, for Chinese New Year.

During lunch, my colleague asked if I am enjoying myself at work. I told him not really. I’m just hanging on the best I could. Thinking back, my first job had better colleagues and I feel more comfortable with them. Despite whatever “feelings” I may have back then when I left, I still enjoyed my time there. Now, not so much.

I think it could be because I had discovered what I want to do and achieve in life. Whatever it is I’m doing just isn’t bringing me joy anymore but I’m still doing it because it’s something I already know quite well and is paying the bills.

Oh well, sometimes I just feel like I’m repeating myself to myself. Yet, it doesn’t seem to make me feel any better. Maybe I should do some radical? I don’t know.

Anyway, after that lunch, my colleague and I went our separate ways because he had to be somewhere else and I am going back to office.

Once I went back, I didn’t do much at all except to read the codes again and add in some boilerplate. During my code reading, I discovered that there were potentially more bugs or issues that I didn’t realize. It is this kind of situation that tend to grind my gears. And yes, I did let it pull down my mood.

Once the clock struck six, I just packed up and took my leave. I went to get a cup of mocha from Starbucks to fill my stomach because it was starting to growl and knowing I will feel hangry, it’s a solution. So I waited until my friend arrived and we had dinner at Paradise Dynasty.

With dinner done, I wanted to get some clothes for the new year. We walked around for quite a bit until I settled on Cotton On. The remaining brands were like having boring styles. Or maybe more like I wanted something more simple, plain. It’s the minimalist in me speaking.

After I got a plain maroon-colored shirt and a black jogger pants, my friend and I went up to the cinema to watch Black Panther. Today was particularly packed and the whole bunch of movie goers were like waiting outside until we were allowed in. It was around 8.31pm, when we finally started moving in and have our tickets checked.

The movie ended at around 10.45pm. The mall was already closed by then and we made our way to the train station and went home.

It’s Chinese New Year eve tomorrow (today, since it’s already 21 minutes past midnight) and it will be a long weekend. So I should be happy and enjoy myself. For a start, I should probably go for a run before I start snacking on those Chinese New Year goodies. I didn’t get a chance to do that last weekend because I was busy with cleaning up the house and aching badly as a result of it.

And I plan to use the weekend to start putting more words into my novel.