Journal #329

One of my readers, my dear friend whom I call B, texted me this morning and told me my writing has improve. After conversing further, my dear friend commented that my writing has transcended the “self-absorbed” mode.

I only have this to say: Thank you very much! I’m really glad and grateful.

In hindsight, I never saw myself improve. Even after reading through my older posts (like a week before), I didn’t notice any difference from how I’m writing right now. So this just shows the importance of having feedbacks from trusted friends or readers. Without those feedbacks, there is no way I could have improve.

Now of course, I do get wounded emotionally easily but at the end of the day, it’s up to me to either take it personally, or take it constructively and improve. The latter is what must be done in order to be a better version of yourself. If I went the former route, then there is no way I will remain an immature person.

There is another highlight today.

A friend, whom I contacted yesterday, messaged me back on Facebook Messenger that he will be taking on some software projects to help his personal friend and relative. I’m so happy to hear that from him. After all, he did tell me that programming was the only thing he enjoy doing, at least for now.

He also inspired me to go back and do some freelance work. Just so happen, my client contacted me about some bugs found in the application earlier today. I got a bunch of email and database backup file. I will schedule sometime this weekend to work on it in addition to my writing.

At work, my colleagues and I had a meeting to sync up on the task we did. My team lead commented on how one of my colleagues is doing a good job updating all the JIRA tickets. And the best part was, I find myself completely neutral to that. It was like I stop caring anymore. Hmm… I need to find a way to arrest this because if it goes on for too long, it will start to affect my work output.

The meeting went on and we reviewed what we did. We started discussing some of the future use cases that we need to work on. Somehow, the tension in the air started rising as there was a sense of irritation emitting from one of my colleagues. It was about how to implement something for one of the use case. As they went back and forth, it became clear that the colleague who was irritated didn’t completely understand what’s going on and was trying to push her way through in a manner to show she’s on the right track. She started throwing shades. It reached a point where the team lead had to jump in to clarify the whole thing again.

Well, this same colleague is the one that pissed me off too because she will keep insisting she’s right, will find ways to bite you back or make you trip over yourself if you aren’t good at realtime debates.

I’ll admit I’m no good at those kind of things and I never like confrontations of any sorts, so I let her have her way. Confrontations always stresses me out and I don’t want that. So now she is now responsible for pretty much every thing backend, from design to implementation. Besides, she’s also pretty close to our team leader, have pretty much build up a close working relationship, so I made the choice to just keep my head down. After all, I know I’m no good at this kind of office games. At the end of the day, my current goal is just to have enough freedom fund and go off on a tangent to do the things that I enjoy.

I will probably prepare popcorns when the fireworks do go off at work.

After that meeting, we went for a quick lunch so we can board the buses to get to the company’s forum.

This company forum is where the senior management will talk about what’s next for 2018 and what happened in 2017. Some of the speakers were funny but in general it was boring because it was all about numbers and more numbers. I never quite like seeing columns and rows of numbers but it is important for the business, the management, and the employees. Without those numbers, they won’t have any idea of how well the company is doing.

Towards the end of the forum, the president of the company also stated that they will be making some changes to how employees are rewarded for their work. I think some of the employees will become more unhappy if they are already not performing very well at work because they will get even lower bonuses compared to the top performers. Then those who perform very well at work will be happier. It’s fairer that way.

Half way through the forum, my stomach decided to produce too much acid again and caused me some discomfort. It was made worse by my tight pants and shirt because over the last few months, I have put on like two more kilograms, possibly more. And the weight gain was caused by me eating too much to offset the acid production.

So I took the last two antacid pills but it didn’t help much. So I went home with a churning and bloated stomach. Sigh.

I did a quick review of what I eat and drink. I also went to do some quick googling. There was some mention that excessive fiber could be the cause of this excessive acid production. Now, come to think of it, I have been taking oatmeal and psyllium fibre for breakfast for the last seven years. It was during this time that my stomach started behaving differently. And it was also during this time that I started consuming coffee and tea.

So I will stop consuming oatmeal and psyllium fibre for breakfast for the next few days to see if it helps. I will instead switch to consuming other stuff like milk or milo together with bread.

One last thing. I am re-considering whether to stop posting curated news on my blog. I am just not sure if it’s worth my time to be posting those news every week given the low number of views. For this week, I will post those curated news and then see how’s the viewership. If it’s too low, I will stop from next weeks onwards. Instead, I think will focus on increasing the number of other content like short stories or poems. I like to think they are more valuable to you. Of course the journals will stay because it is a staple for some of my readers who look forward to reading them everyday. I’m just glad that it is of value to you guys.

Ok, that’s all for today.