Daily Log #39

I know there hadn’t been much effort being put into writing my Daily Log as of late. It is obvious because there aren’t much detailed break down of my emotions or how I think. I believe most of my readers can see it. In some cases, the Daily Log was just a collection of what happened in a matter-of-fact style.

There aren’t any excuses except for the fact that I’m just not feeling it. I haven’t been feeling much of anything when it comes to writing. I believe a big part of it stems from me feeling stagnant with my writing, just like how I felt with my programming. I don’t feel like I’m growing any more as I haven’t been getting enough feedback for my work. Without constructive feedback, I’m just not learning anything new.

Of course, I know there is a way out and that means getting out of my comfort zone. And what’s that way out? Be part of a publication. I believe that when you are part of a publication, you will feel oblige to uphold the standards of that publication and put out quality content that are relevant and focused. Right now, my writing is all over the place because it comes from inside, generally how I feel about things. Being part of a publication also means you will get a chance to learn from other writers in the same publication.

Now, I do have friends reading my writings but I can’t really take their feedbacks or comments on how to write, what kind of content to put out or how to market ourselves, etc. They are not doing what I’m doing. The only feedbacks I could listen are related to grammar and sentence structure. From where I sit, they are not writers who have published stuff and made money out of it.

Or in Stephen King’s words, “If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn’t bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”

And I’m not saying I’m good either. I know most of my writing are shit.

Anyway, I will stop the rant there.

Most of my day at work was actually spent in meetings to understand the next phase of the project and what to do for the next two weeks. For this week, there will be an upcoming deployment of the application and this deployment will contain what we have done over the last two months. Thus far, we have done whatever testing we need to do and hasn’t really found any major issues. So it will now be up to the user to find out further issues. Then the next week would be spent on continue development of new features and functionality.

Because of my recent pivot towards software design as part of the process to re-inspire myself at work, I found myself asking questions during the meetings that challenges our current design and reminding everyone we haven’t been catering for future needs. Some of the questions also remind everyone about that we aren’t building enough features because I’m coming from the perspective of user, not engineer or programmer. At least I like to think that I am doing it right. So far, it has been a great feeling. I just hope that any attempts from my colleagues to disregard my opinions and views won’t affect my mental state again.

So I will continue do what I think I do best and go from there. There will be times when I stumble hard and feel like crap. Mistakes will surely be made. And that’s how one can learn from it. I am aware that there is also a need to read even more and learn even more to augment my existing knowledge.

And I mustn’t forget that my core is writing and everything else that I do is to support or augment that passion.

On the topic of writing, I managed to put in another 768 new words for my novel. During the writing process, there was this lack of motivation and uninspired feeling overwhelming me. I did expended quite a fair bit of effort to push myself through. If not, I doubt there will be even a single new word for my novel.

Lastly, as soon as I’m done with writing chapter 3, I will put up a quick synopsis of the novel. I will probably spend the next two months finishing the book and that’s including editing before I publish it here. I still deciding if I should get someone to do up the cover art.

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