Daily Log #43

Time flew by me so fast that I didn’t know what happened. I arrived in office, chat with colleagues, clear some emails and did some work. Then it was already 12pm and it was time for lunch.

After lunch, my colleagues and I went to NTUC Fairprice supermarket to get soy milk and a box of strawberry. Then we stopped by a fruit store to get more fruits. I got myself a rock melon. Once we are back in office, we proceeded to eat the strawberries and the fruits we bought.

I won’t say the strawberries are especially nice to eat. It’s quite hard and somewhat sour. Rock melon on the other hand is sweet with a soft middle and hard bottom. I quite like it.

Later in the afternoon, I have a performance review with my supervisor and division manager.

The review started off with the division manager going on and on about future plans, what’s going on and the expectations. Then we went through the things I have done and thus far it has been a good review. What they want to see next is me taking on more workload. Deep down, I find myself struggling. I didn’t really want it because I prefer to be un-busy and lead a simple life. At the same time, pushing away opportunities is stupid. I did after all complain about being bored with programming.

But the reason is really simple. I am not sure if I can get an optimal balance between my professional life, my health, my relaxation (video games, reading novels) and my side hustle, which is writing, as my workload increases. And I will get pretty upset.

I also cannot use my highly-sensitive nature as an excuse not to do anything. Instead, it would be better to show that I have grown if I use it to my advantage to do the following: “Whatever I do is to help people live stress free.”

If you don’t know what I mean by being highly-sensitive, please check this link out. It will explain everything.

And you know what, I got a short term goals…ok… more like two:

  1. Publish a book before I reach 33.
  2. Take a mini-retirement at 32.

A quick review of what I’m doing now, I think I may not be ready to fulfill those two goals…we will see how it goes. But I should also remember that the only person I want to answer to is my 80 or maybe 90 year old self. Not my parents. Not my friends. Not my relatives or my bosses.

Of course during the review that lasted more than an hour, they asked for my feedback. At first I struggled because I didn’t know what I want to say. Then I finally settled down on my direction that I want to go. So I stated that I would prefer to do design, focusing on UI and user experience. The division manager did say it’s a good thing that I want to branch out. Well, yeah, I prefer to be a generalist and I’m looking at Leonardo Da Vinci. My colleague later also use Da Vinci as a reference saying that that guy did over his lifetime being somewhat of an expert in almost everything.

However, the manager also said that I should go deeper into the application security, specifically the identity access and authorization. I still quite like that field and I do know stuff about it my current colleagues don’t but I still kind of remember the traumatic experience I had from my previous job. And that job deals with identity and access management. Hmm… I shall see if I can get over it.

Anyway, the manager also say that the identity access and authorization module that I built can be reused for another project and they are looking at putting me in that project. I had the foresight of building it as a micro-service within the existing application. Well, more like I already knew it would happen. So with that, I could easily pull out the parts and then reassemble them.

My product development mind kept churning also. I don’t want to manually onboard users into my identity access management module. So to reduce my workload, I have already thought of a few features to implement. For example, bulk upload of users using a file prepared prior. Then there’s also the workflow idea to implement.

Whatever I do is to help people live stress free.

That also include myself. I have to help myself live stress free.

Later in the afternoon, close to 6pm, I went and do some quick enhancement of the user interface and call it a day.