Daily Log #119

Four days went by without me doing any form of writing…other than C# codes at work and messages on my phone. It’s mostly because I was feeling angsty and frustrated with my work and colleagues.

It has come to a point where I’m sick of my colleague continual dismissive of whatever thoughts or ideas I shared at work. She is always saying that she is there to solve problem and always go on and on sprouting her own ideas, totally ignoring me. Sometimes, she will be making hiss sound at me in an attempt to dismiss me and my ideas.

Alright, so apparently, my experiences, knowledge and intuition are not useful in solving problem. With that, there are multiple solutions. The first would be to confront this colleague about the issue and hopefully get her to change her tact and approach. That’s the assertive approach. The passive approach would be to ignore her and stop contributing whenever she is around. For me, I tend to go with the passive approach because I never really like any kind of confrontation. And she’s not my friend, so I don’t even want to spend the time and energy. Just not worth it…

Hmm… now that I mentioned I have been writing C# codes, I hadn’t really spent the last year writing any Java codes and I feel kind of sad about it. Yes, I know I can probably write Java codes at home but my life isn’t all codes and text. I got my family to be with, my games to play and books to read. Devoting 6 to 8 hours a day to code is more than enough for me in my view. And yeah…when I was younger, I devoted more time to that by coding at home but that’s because I wanted to improve my skills at a programmer. Now, not so much…I rather be doing something else more interesting.

And here’s some quick recap of the things I did and notable for me over the four days.

On Thursday morning, at around 1am GMT8 , I stayed up to watch the Apple Event and got to say I’m not that particularly impressed with what Apple announced, except maybe for Apple Watch series 4. I got a series 2 and has been a year plus. I think it’s time that I change to the new watch. Even the Apple Care that I got for it will only cover the watch for another few more months.

Now the one feature the series 4 watch got me the most excited is the ECG. Considering my sedentary lifestyle, having multiple elevated heartbeat notification from my series 2, and family history of heart issues, it’s the best device for me so that I can keep a close watch on my heart. I do know I need to make a conscious effort to exercise more.

On Friday night, I went with a friend to watch The Predator. It wasn’t the most intense or thrilling movie in the franchise. In terms of story, it just isn’t the most exciting and I could see most of the events coming before they even play out on screen.

Once I got home, I turned on my Xbox and went ahead to get Shadow of Tomb Raider. Of all the Tomb Raider games, I prefer the games set in this reboot trilogy as they have more focus on Lara development. Then the puzzles are challenging while the combat mechanics are pretty good, compare to the older games.

I like that they don’t go over the top with the presentation of her physique like the older games. I really don’t want to see her dressed in skin-revealing attire for no reason. She’s an archaeologist who works in environments that most likely will kill city dwelling people like me. I don’t get why would any sane person wear such short shorts and cleavage revealing shirt in that kind of environment. Even if the animals, humans and creatures in the tomb raider series didn’t manage to kill her, the environment will. And if you want to portray a strong female character like her, don’t degrade her by making her look like a bitch. It’s insulting.

On Saturday, I met up with my best friend for lunch. That lunch required me to take four different trains to get there but it’s worth it. It’s not often that we meet up because of our vastly different lives. I also got back the book, Start With Why, from him. Not that I will re-read it during my free time but it’s part of my book collection. So I will put it back where it belongs.

After that, it was mostly just me playing Shadow of Tomb Raider and suffer back and neck pain. Not that I can really complain about it. I made the choice to spend so much time in front of a screen and continue to make the same stupid choice.

Then I went out to have dinner with my family before coming back to continue my game. I didn’t play for long either because my sleep debt has pretty much caught up to me.

Well, I didn’t really have any good night sleep since Tuesday because of a sub-conscious stress I’m feeling with a whole bunch of rumination. I know they are pointless but my mind will just keep playing them over and over again. By default, I’m highly neurotic and will always assume the worse.

So that’s another reason why I love my routines so much. They keep me sane.

On Sunday, I squeezed in a few hours of Tomb Raider, a two hour nap, and a quick jog around my neighborhood. After coming back, I decided to read Halo: Glassland. After so long, I only managed to get through half the book and I still got three new novels sitting in my bookshelf that I hadn’t got around to read. I also got two non-fiction books that I also didn’t read. I stopped after about twenty pages and went with powering on my MacBook to watch the last episode of Shooter, season 3. Then I spent some time to watch an old movie that I watched before, The Darkness on Netflix.

I have been thinking about something too.

Ever since I got my MacBook, I hadn’t really use it like most people. I mean I didn’t put it through the paces in terms of bringing out to work on stuff much. Yeah, in my previous two work places I do and when I do my freelance work but other than that it’s just sitting at home where I use it to write and watch movies, listen to music. I don’t do much programming these days on it.

And that’s why I have been putting off on buying a new MacBook Pro for so long. I just don’t see the need. Yet I can’t help but feel like it’s a waste, just like my gaming desktop now where I don’t seem to be interested in its upkeep or play any games on it. I think after a while, I may finally just decided to get rid of it.

Well… in a way, this machine is actually making me stress by the fact it’s around and need me to take care of it. One prime example is that my room is going to be renovated soon. That means I need to move it out while my room is redone. Combine that with my neurotic nature and my innate materialistic (in the truest form of the word) nature where I don’t want people touching my stuff for the fear they break it, I’m kind of pulling my hair out.

And that’s one of the subconscious stress I have been feeling over the past week. So yeah, I guess this is the time where I get to review the things I introduce in my life and start paring down.

One last thing. I don’t think I will be able to sleep again tonight because I have been drinking too much tea. First green tea in the day and now Earl Grey at night. Sigh…

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