Thinking…

Thinking is good.

It demonstrates that your mind is still working.

It allows you to be creative and come up with solutions to problems that you face or potentially will face.

It shows that you are a human, smarter than the animals living on this planet.

But what if the process of thinking is broken?

What if it runs on a loop, displaying images or bringing forth feelings or experiences that you hate? Your days ruined. Your relationships destroyed.

Then you start thinking…Maybe your mind is broken?

Or not?

It goes on and on.

What if you done that?

Or what if you said that?

Maybe…just maybe…

Stop!

What are you doing? Why are you wasting time and energy on that?

It’s time to ask yourself…

Can you channel that energy you spend thinking in a loop into solve the world’s problems instead?

How much more productive can you be? How much more effective you will be?

Good or bad writer?

How do you know if you are a good or bad writer?

Maybe you think you are a good writer just because someone compliments your writing.

Or you will think you are a bad writer when you publish something and no one likes it.

To me, it’s very simple.

A bad writer is one who struggles to get the words out to tell a story and then decided to stop writing all together.

A good writer doesn’t stop.

All in your head

Distraction.

It’s the thing that could destroy your productivity and send you down the rabbit hole of wasting time and achieving nothing. You will find yourself doing everything else but the one thing you need to be doing.

And you know what? The biggest problem isn’t with distraction. It’s not that video game. Not that Netflix show. Not that book. Rather, it’s you. You are the problem. You choose to play that video game, watch that show or read that book.

So why did you make that choice?

Is it because you lack the discipline?

Or maybe be that the thing you should be doing doesn’t have a strong enough draw to pull you away? Maybe it’s not as important as you think it is? And don’t kid yourself and be all defensive. After all, if it’s important, then why aren’t you doing those things? Why are you allowing yourself to be distracted?

It’s also a conversation that I’m having with myself every now and then.

As much as I like to think I have the discipline to work from home, it’s a lie perpetrated by me on me. The truth is being distracted is a recurring theme. There were so many projects that I want to do but ended up not doing them. I went with playing video games, stopped thinking like a writer and stopped thinking like a designer.

I even told my friends that I couldn’t find the time or concentrate on my stuff at home and needed to work outside. There’s just too many distracting stuff.

One of them said, “it’s all in your head”.

I won’t say I’m surprised. From what I have learned so far, it’s the truth. And the only truth when it comes to productivity.

And that’s a great reminder on who’s really in control.

No one else can make you concentrate or focus. You are the one who decide whether you can concentrate and do the work. Everything else that you say or fight against is just you finding an excuse.

What if you really think that your home has a ton of distractions and you can’t prevent yourself from utilising those distractions? Then go out there and find an environment to work in that allow you to focus. Otherwise, remove all those items in your house that distracts you. Move those distracting things, be it television, your internet router/access points, etc. to a storage unit. Smash them to pieces if you need to. You can always buy a new one later. It’s all about creating that environment you need to work.

And watch what you say to yourself. A lot of times, many of the comments or complains you make are just you being fancy and refuse to do the work. So shut up, and make a plan and execute.

The curious case of not enough or missing time

Have you ever experienced the loss of time and you can’t seem to remember what you did? It’s not that you are suffering from some kind of mental illness that cause you to lose track of time but rather you know you are still going about your life and yet time just flies by. When you do realise it, the day is gone and the new day is upon you.

And that’s been happening to me for the last few weeks ever since I tendered my resignation.

You just go to work as usual because you have to serve a two months notice, do your tasks and before long you find yourself packing up for home. Once home, you just simply go through the motion of life and then you are off to bed. You wake up the next morning to repeat.

By the time you realise what had happened, it’s already nearly the end of the month and you have not quite achieve anything.

From the context of a person soon to be jobless, it meant that he hasn’t found a job to move on to. In part, he hadn’t be that active looking for a job but not as active as one should be. And the potential jobs he did find, the hiring managers rejected him.

Now that’s a problem.

And there’s more.

In terms of writing, he also hasn’t achieve much. There’s virtually no content to write about because he didn’t put in the effort to because he was distracted by other shiny things in life. And it’s troubling because his resignation meant the scaling down of his workload and thus he should have more time to do writing. But it’s not the case.

His backlog of video games have grown from one game to six games. It’s not very minimalistic of him. And he just couldn’t seem to find the time to play those games.

Last but not least, his backlog of novels and books to read has grown from one to eight. Somehow, he couldn’t make the time to read them.

In hindsight, it’s probably not that hard to figure out why.

Motivation.

It’s gone.

And severe neck, shoulder and back pain. It’s detrimental to his well-being. So much so, he couldn’t concentrate on what he needs to do.

Change up sleep routine

It’s pretty scary to realise you prefer to sleep early and wake up early based on old tweets you have done. Then somehow you slipped up and you find yourself sleeping later.

And how much later, you might ask?

Try three hours after your supposed sleeping time. It’s well beyond midnight, mind you. Then you got to wake up early for work. What’s worse is when you go through this kind of sleep deprivation for longer than two months with no end in sight and you don’t even know why. Your mind just refuse to sleep early.

This isn’t doing me any good. The long term effect of this sleep deprivation includes making one feel very tired, depressed and lack the motivation to do anything.

It’s probably why my consistency when it comes to writing or blogging in general has fallen off the cliff. And I suspect it’s the root of my problems. Been having trouble trying to write the short stories that I have planned. All those writer blocks…

So I decided to change up my sleeping routine by turning in before 10pm starting today. And I’ve got an excuse to do that now. Need to wake up an hour earlier than usual for my military reservist training tomorrow.