Many of us, including myself, go through life predicated on complaining and blaming the world for things that went wrong and will go wrong. Many times, we aren’t even conscious of the fact we are complaining. It’s just something that we do out of habit. In part, it could be because of how we were brought up by our parents. Another part could be because we are lazy as fuck and would rather blame the world for everything instead of fighting for a way out of our circumstances, whatever that may be.
Complaining by itself isn’t all bad. It allows us to point out the bad stuff that happened in our life and hopefully get some attention to it. However, it is bad if nothing is done with regard to the situation. It’s like you are behaving like a child. Children complain because there are really times they aren’t able to deal with a situation effectively and require adults to help. But if you are an adult, you should have pretty much figure out by now what you can do and cannot do. And some things are just best left as it is. Unless, you have lived a very sheltered life and never got the chance to mature.
But I also recognise that the complaining habit is difficult to break, especially if you have grown up in an environment where complaining is the default behaviour and that your complaining have always gotten you what you wanted. I know because that’s what I went through.
In fact, I’m guilty of some complaining even at this stage despite my best effort to be conscious of it and then seek to actively change my circumstances. I’m somewhat complaining and whining to myself about the writing situation. The good thing was I didn’t vocalise because I recognise it’s on me to fix the situation. I know I have fallen off the bandwagon with the lack of content and even my fiction writing isn’t going anywhere. No amount of complaining to people around me is going to help. Rather, I’m doing an internal complaint to myself about why I’m not doing anything about the situation.
With that, I spur myself into taking action. Forcing myself to do some writing. I even put on my AirPods and blast some music to get me prime for it. And here I am writing this entry.
The next thing I’m guilty of complaining about was the situation at work. It has gotten to a point where I’m really unhappy. Feeling that you are underpaid, under-appreciated and overwork can really do your morale in. Then, there is the lack of opportunities to develop your engineering and design skills. You are really just going through the motions. Furthermore, the fact you have to deal with colleagues that has far more years of work experience can’t seem to make technical decisions just made the whole situation untenable and unsustainable. Last but not least, you are on the receiving end of your colleagues’ bad-mouthing about work not done when it fell onto their lap due to a sudden development schedule change that you have no control of.
However, no amount of complaining is going to change my work situation. Thus, this is the time where action matters. Update your resume. Firing off emails to potential employers as part of your job hunt. You don’t even need to start with many employers. Just one will do. It’s to kickstart your momentum. Mind you, just a few months ago, I was complaining about the work situation but I didn’t do anything about it. I gave myself several excuses to stay on. I was actually comfortable with the job itself, needed the money to fund my writing, and wasn’t sure if I could get the same work-life balance that I have now for me to do my writing. Now, I feel like I have regressed in my personal growth.
And I did those things. Now I feel like I have achieved something instead of complaining and wallowing in self-pity. And I feel good about it.
A friend recently also point out the uselessness of complaining and cite me as one example. You see, I care deeply about my privacy and there are times when I really just want to go off the grid and delete every single online account that I have created and used. But instead of complaining purely about how Facebook is anti-privacy and steal all our data, I went and deleted my account. Whether Facebook keeps my account data forever or actually delete all traces of it is something I can’t control and besides the point. The point is I took action, no matter how minor or minuscule in grand scheme of things.
In conclusion, you can complain and get stuff out of your chest. However, be aware of what you are saying and doing. Don’t let complaining be the only thing you do when things don’t go your way. Take action and make the necessary adjustment.