Complaining get you no where, only action will

Many of us, including myself, go through life predicated on complaining and blaming the world for things that went wrong and will go wrong. Many times, we aren’t even conscious of the fact we are complaining. It’s just something that we do out of habit. In part, it could be because of how we were brought up by our parents. Another part could be because we are lazy as fuck and would rather blame the world for everything instead of fighting for a way out of our circumstances, whatever that may be.

Complaining by itself isn’t all bad. It allows us to point out the bad stuff that happened in our life and hopefully get some attention to it. However, it is bad if nothing is done with regard to the situation. It’s like you are behaving like a child. Children complain because there are really times they aren’t able to deal with a situation effectively and require adults to help. But if you are an adult, you should have pretty much figure out by now what you can do and cannot do. And some things are just best left as it is. Unless, you have lived a very sheltered life and never got the chance to mature.

But I also recognise that the complaining habit is difficult to break, especially if you have grown up in an environment where complaining is the default behaviour and that your complaining have always gotten you what you wanted. I know because that’s what I went through.

In fact, I’m guilty of some complaining even at this stage despite my best effort to be conscious of it and then seek to actively change my circumstances. I’m somewhat complaining and whining to myself about the writing situation. The good thing was I didn’t vocalise because I recognise it’s on me to fix the situation. I know I have fallen off the bandwagon with the lack of content and even my fiction writing isn’t going anywhere. No amount of complaining to people around me is going to help. Rather, I’m doing an internal complaint to myself about why I’m not doing anything about the situation.

With that, I spur myself into taking action. Forcing myself to do some writing. I even put on my AirPods and blast some music to get me prime for it. And here I am writing this entry.

The next thing I’m guilty of complaining about was the situation at work. It has gotten to a point where I’m really unhappy. Feeling that you are underpaid, under-appreciated and overwork can really do your morale in. Then, there is the lack of opportunities to develop your engineering and design skills. You are really just going through the motions. Furthermore, the fact you have to deal with colleagues that has far more years of work experience can’t seem to make technical decisions just made the whole situation untenable and unsustainable. Last but not least, you are on the receiving end of your colleagues’ bad-mouthing about work not done when it fell onto their lap due to a sudden development schedule change that you have no control of.

However, no amount of complaining is going to change my work situation. Thus, this is the time where action matters. Update your resume. Firing off emails to potential employers as part of your job hunt. You don’t even need to start with many employers. Just one will do. It’s to kickstart your momentum. Mind you, just a few months ago, I was complaining about the work situation but I didn’t do anything about it. I gave myself several excuses to stay on. I was actually comfortable with the job itself, needed the money to fund my writing, and wasn’t sure if I could get the same work-life balance that I have now for me to do my writing. Now, I feel like I have regressed in my personal growth.

And I did those things. Now I feel like I have achieved something instead of complaining and wallowing in self-pity. And I feel good about it.

A friend recently also point out the uselessness of complaining and cite me as one example. You see, I care deeply about my privacy and there are times when I really just want to go off the grid and delete every single online account that I have created and used. But instead of complaining purely about how Facebook is anti-privacy and steal all our data, I went and deleted my account. Whether Facebook keeps my account data forever or actually delete all traces of it is something I can’t control and besides the point. The point is I took action, no matter how minor or minuscule in grand scheme of things.

In conclusion, you can complain and get stuff out of your chest. However, be aware of what you are saying and doing. Don’t let complaining be the only thing you do when things don’t go your way. Take action and make the necessary adjustment.

Complain Less, Find Solutions

It’s very easy to complain. You saw something that you didn’t like, you just start grumbling how it sucks. You felt some pain here or there, you just start mouthing off how it hurts. You dislike how certain things are done, you just start whining about how it is wrong.

No matter how much you wished for complaining to get you anywhere, it just doesn’t. You are just wasting saliva, energy, and time complaining about things that doesn’t fit your world view. Not only that, you irritate the people around you. The more you complain, the more you sound like a child. I know because I have to deal with it everyday.

I know everyone got their life and stuff to take care of. Circumstances are all different, so context is important here. I got friends who have to take care of their ailing parents by themselves with meagre salaries and have to work from before the sun rises to sun sets. But rarely do I see them complain as much as some who have almost everything they ever wanted in their life.

Now, that last sentence is also directed at me. I complain a lot too. I complain about work because of how monotonous it is yet I’m earning higher than what some of my friends are earning and have more free time. I complain about life because I don’t have all the shiny things when I actually have everything I ever needed. I complain about how the government is doing everything wrong when what they did ensure stability of the country.

My only excuse was that I grew up in an environment where everyone is complaining and whining about this or that. It’s either about money, health, how mistreated you are, etc. Now? I call bullshit on it.

You see, as I go further along with my life and learnt a few more things, it became clear to me that complaining is a sign of you failing. You are a loser and have lost perspective. You aren’t looking at things from a higher level and see how you can put in the work to change the circumstances. There is just no way you can win in life if you are complaining about everything because complaining also affects how your brain works. It rewires your brain for negativity.

So stop complaining. You need to start looking for solutions to the problem unless being mediocre or a loser is your life goal. I will respect your life choices.

This “stop complaining” message is also for me. I need to be more proactive in looking for solutions to problems in my life. I don’t want to be mediocre. I want to be better than who I was previously. Good news is that I have actually beginning to change myself for the better over the last few months. My journalings have helped me greatly.

For example, I know I don’t know how to do technical writing. Instead of complaining I don’t know how, I went for a two days course and paid from my own pockets to solve this problem.

I also hate my full time job because it’s monotonous and doesn’t give me much mobility. I prefer writing and the idea of working multiple part-time jobs. But it’s obvious that I need freedom fund to be able to do what I want without stress. So I focus on building up my freedom fund, step-by-step if necessary, so that I can quit my full time job.

And in life, certain things have a very simple solution. For example, you are sick, instead of complaining, why not see the doctor. If an old injury isn’t healing, why not see the doctor too? Complaining doesn’t heal you.

Then when you run low on money, one of the solutions is to audit the hell out of your life and cut the unnecessary. Start looking at ways how you can improve your inbound cash. Complaining doesn’t grow money or help you save. Take on additional jobs if you have to. Cut your expenses if you have to. Just don’t complain.

I have also heard people complaining about not having enough time to do the things they want. My answer to you is, why don’t you go audit what are you doing everyday that is superfluous and waste of time. If you are spending hours on Facebook or instagram, and then you are complaining about not having enough time, there is something seriously wrong with your priorities in life. I will just say you are full of shit.

For those who have to deal with complainers in their life, help them see the light if you love them. And if they still refuse to change despite your best effort, it’s time you drop them off somewhere, wave goodbye, and forget they have ever existed. Get the memory eraser from Men in Black if you have to.