Going on antidepressant…

Last Thursday was my appointment with the psychiatrist. I shared with him the feelings and thoughts that I had over the past few weeks .

As it went on, the doctor first concluded that it was my job that’s making me depressed. And that I should quit first, develop the skills I need for the next phase of my career and move on.

Yes, my intuition is telling me that. But another part of my mind is demanding that I don’t be so stupid and focus on securing some kind of safety net before I do it. This back and forth between what I desire and what I fear is holding me in place and I couldn’t find a way out.

And as the session went on, it became clear that I’m also feeling anxious constantly especially when I have to do something new or when there’s something new in my life. And that anxiousness can get so overwhelming that it also hold me in place.

Towards the end, the doctor asked me what I think of my current depression. I told him that it was much more severe than before. I even had suicidal thoughts with detailed plans. He agreed after reviewing the notes he had written. This is when he asked if I want to go on medication to see if it helps with my mood. I said yes because I really didn’t want to struggle with this constant emotional pain. He gave me a choice between taking meds to help me sleep or taking another to help with the mood.

I chose to stabilise my mood.

So with that, the doctor shared that there are different kinds of antidepressants. I told him about the Fluoxetine prescription a GP gave me days prior to the appointment. I had taken that for a few days without any obvious side effect but I did stop it because I don’t feel like there’s much changes. He shared that it would take at least a month before it start to work and concluded that I should continue with that medication.

And it’s been four days since I started taking it. I will update once I feel like there’s some more changes to my life or mood.

Knowing your why reduce odds of depression

Making goals in life is a very human thing. A goal is something that allows one to live a better life than before or to be happy. It could be as simple as, “I want to make x amount of money by x”

However, what most people failed to realise is that a goal is finite. It’s temporary. Most people don’t ask themselves what would they do next after they reached their goal. As a result, when they finally achieved it, they feel like there’s nothing else in life for them to do. They are lost. This is when the people lose hope and slipped into depression.

But it’s important not to confuse this kind of depression with clinical depression. This is a situational depression. And yes, the symptoms are alike but the point of origin is different. You can get out of situational depression by reevaluating what you are doing with your life and taking actions to redirect yourself without relying on medication.

For me, I have been diagnosed with depression. Now I know it had always been situational and not clinical. I’m grateful that I never went on medication nor was I prescribed any. I managed to get out of those episodes by changing my perspective of things in life with the help of friends and family.

And you know what?

I can’t guarantee that situation depression won’t strike again. What I do know is I can minimise my chances of suffering from it in the future.

It is by knowing my “why”. To know why I exist in the world. To know what’s my purpose and my vision of the world. You may be wondering how does those help with minimising situational depression. Well, you have to know what’s the difference between a vision vs a goal? Having a vision and working towards it is a form of infinite goal. You don’t win the vision because the things you need to do is never one time deal. Sometimes you will fall short in terms of results and sometimes you will achieve better results than previously. But you will always have something to look forward to.

It’s like life. You have a finite lifespan. You probably would die anytime between now and one hundred and twenty-five. But you have to live an infinite life. Life still goes on despite whatever happen. Right? There’s no winning life. And when you lose life? It simply means you are dead. Or in other words, drop out of the game.

So now, do you see?

By playing the infinite game of life and knowing your vision for the world, you reduce the odds of suffering from situational depression. It’s all because there’s always something for you to do to achieve that vision of yours. You don’t lose hope nor purpose of life.

I’m sure you will be wondering how the hell do I know my “why”? Or know what’s your vision. I also didn’t know my why for a very long time. All I know is I was happy when I’m left alone to do my own thing, to create something for another person that make them happy. But I always forget about that specific aspect of myself when life hits me hard. As a result, I’m always making short term goals to feel good.

It wasn’t until I discovered the book called, Start With Why, written by Simon Sinek that I found out what’s my “why” and have been actively to keep it in focus while I navigate life.

Here’s one video that I have watched which I hope can help you to figure out your “why”.

In addition, I would recommend that you check out the book, Find Your Why, written by Simon Sinek, David Mead and Peter Docker, after you are done with the first book.

Wednesday Science News Roundup #27

Below are 10 science news that I found interesting and are related to topics I care about.

Depression linked to reduced arginine levels – People suffering from major depressive disorder, MDD, have reduced arginine levels, a new study from the University of Eastern Finland shows. Arginine is an amino acid which the body uses to produce, e.g., nitric oxide. Nitric oxide, in turn, is a nervous system and immune defence mediator, and it also plays a role in vascular regulation. The global arginine bioavailability ratio, GABR, is an indicator of the body’s arginine levels, and the ratio has previously been used to measure the body’s capacity to produce nitric oxide. Reduced arginine bioavailability is also known to be an independent risk factor of cardiovascular diseases. Science Daily

New stem-cell based stroke treatment repairs damaged brain tissue – A team of researchers at the University of Georgia’s Regenerative Bioscience Center and ArunA Biomedical, a UGA startup company, have developed a new treatment for stroke that reduces brain damage and accelerates the brain’s natural healing tendencies in animal models. They published their findings in the journal Translational Stroke Research. Science Daily

First vaccine in the world developed against grass pollen allergy – Around 400 million people world-wide suffer in some form or other from a grass pollen allergy (rhinitis) — with the usual symptoms such as a runny nose, cough and severe breathing problems. In collaboration with the Viennese firm Biomay AG, MedUni Vienna researchers at the Institute of Pathophysiology and Allergy Research have now shown in a Phase II-b study with 180 patients in 11 European centres, that four injections of the synthetically manufactured vaccine BM32 in the first year and a top-up in the second year of treatment relieve the sufferers’ symptoms by at least 25%. Science Daily

We Might Finally Know Why The Blood of Young People Can Rejuvenate Old Brains – Scientists have been rejuvenating old mice with infusions of not just the blood of younger mice, but even blood from teenage human beings – and we finally have our first clues on why this strange technique works. Science Alert

Here’s Why Matching Your Diet to Your DNA Is a Waste of Time – Diets have always gone through fads. The grapefruit diet, Atkins, paleo, Whole30 – like a many-headed weight-loss hydra, just as soon as one falls out of favor, another rises in its place. Science Alert

Scientists Just Discovered a Never-Before-Seen Structure in Human Sperm – The sperm’s tail is perhaps one of the most iconic structures among all of the cells in the human body, so it’s odd to think there are still some things we don’t know about it. Science Alert

Household products make surprisingly large contributions to air pollution – In urban areas, emissions from consumer goods such as paint, cleaning supplies and personal care products now contribute as much to ozone and fine particulate matter in the atmosphere as do emissions from burning gasoline or diesel fuel. Science News

Babies can recover language skills after a left-side stroke – A stroke on the left side of the brain often damages important language-processing areas. But people who have this stroke just before or after birth recover their language abilities in the mirror image spot on the right side, a study of teens and young adults shows. Those patients all had normal language skills, even though as much as half of their brain had withered away, researchers reported February 17 at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Science News

GM Crops Found To Increase Yields And Reduce Harmful Toxins In 21 Years Of Data – A study looking at 21 years of data on genetically modified crops (GMOs) in the US has found that not only can they increase crop yields, but they can also be good for you. IFLScience

Heavy Drinking Is The Biggest Avoidable Risk Factor In The Onset Of Dementia – An analysis of more than a million dementia patients has found that chronic heavy drinking puts you at serious risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. In fact, alcohol use disorders were found to be the biggest avoidable risk factor in the onset of dementia. IFLScience

Wednesday Science News Roundup #21

Below are 10 science news that I found interesting and are related to topics I care about.

Alzheimer’s drug turns back clock in powerhouse of cell – The experimental drug J147 is something of a modern elixir of life; it’s been shown to treat Alzheimer’s disease and reverse aging in mice and is almost ready for clinical trials in humans. Now, Salk scientists have solved the puzzle of what, exactly, J147 does. In a paper published January 7, 2018, in the journal Aging Cell, they report that the drug binds to a protein found in mitochondria, the energy-generating powerhouses of cells. In turn, they showed, it makes aging cells, mice and flies appear more youthful. Science Daily

At least 3 out of 5 people who try a cigarette become daily smokers – At least 61 per cent of people who try their first cigarette become, at least temporarily, daily smokers, suggests an analysis of survey data by Queen Mary University of London. Science Daily

This Common Painkiller Could Be Negatively Affecting Male Fertility – Male fertility could be at a tipping point. Last year, scientists discovered sperm counts in western countries had plummeted by 50 percent in 40 years, and while the reasons behind the decline are complex, many researchers say the phenomenon is due to men’s hormones being disrupted. Science Alert

Britain Now Generates Twice as Much Electricity From Wind as Coal, And That’s a Big Deal – Just six years ago, more than 40 percent of Britain’s electricity was generated by burning coal. Today, that figure is just 7 percent. Science Alert

These Birds of Prey Are Deliberately Setting Forests on Fire – It’s pretty hot in Australia right now. A brutal heatwave that’s incinerated temperature records threatens devastating bushfires – and to make matters worse, authorities have to contend with an ancient breed of flying arsonists that may as well be miniature dragons. Science Alert

Magic Mushrooms Could Treat Depression Without The Emotional Numbing Caused By Traditional Antidepressants – Magic mushrooms could hold the key to alleviating symptoms of depression, particularly in those who have not benefited from more traditional treatments, new research finds. IFLScience

Pharmaceutical Giant Pfizer Pulls Plug On Alzheimer’s And Parkinson’s Drug Research – Pfizer, one of the world’s biggest pharmaceutical giants, is going to ditch their research efforts into new drugs to fight against Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s disease. IFLScience

Protein Linked To Alzheimer’s Seen Spreading Like An Infection – For the first time, researchers have observed tau proteins, one of the presumed causes of Alzheimer’s disease, spreading from neuron to neuron in a manner similar to how an infection might advance in tissue. IFLScience

White dwarf’s inner makeup is mapped for the first time – Astronomers have probed the inner life of a dead star. Tiny changes in a white dwarf’s brightness reveal that the stellar corpse has more oxygen in its core than expected, researchers report online January 8 in Nature. The finding could challenge theories of how stars live and die, and may have implications for measuring the expansion of the universe. Science News

CRISPR gene editor could spark immune reaction in people – Immune reactions against proteins commonly used as molecular scissors might make CRISPR/Cas9 gene editing ineffective in people, a new study suggests. Science News

Wednesday Science News Roundup #18

Since science news roundups are done every Wednesday, it is decided the heading becomes: Wednesday Science News Roundup.

Below are 10 science news that I found interesting and are related to topics I care about.

Unexpected side effect to cleaning up urban air discovered – As levels of atmospheric nitric oxide decline rapidly due to air quality regulations, North American cities may soon experience higher levels of airborne organic hydroperoxides, with unknown implications for air quality and human health. Science Daily

Direct amygdala stimulation can enhance human memory for a day – The findings are the first example of electrical brain stimulation in humans giving an event-specific boost to memory lasting until the next day, the scientists say. Science Daily

NASA Has Found A Planetary System With As Many Planets As Our Own – Thanks to a novel artificial intelligence technique in partnership with Google, NASA has discovered a planetary system that has as many planets as our own. It’s the most planets in one system we’ve ever found elsewhere. IFLScience

FDA Just Approved The First-Ever Gene Therapy For an Inherited Disease – In a historic move, the Food and Drug Administration on Tuesday approved a pioneering gene therapy for a rare form of childhood blindness, the first such treatment cleared in the United States for an inherited disease. Science Alert

This Wild New Study Says Mars Didn’t Form Where We Thought It Did – Mars and Earth are widely thought to have formed into planets in the same region of the early Solar System, but if that’s the case, why are their compositions so different? A new study might have the answer. Science Alert

In The First Months Of Pregnancy Natural Killer Cells Actually Nurture The Fetus – Natural killer cells are part of the body’s defense system, ruthless destroyers of invading armies of bacteria or viruses. Yet in the first trimester of pregnancy they show another side, gentle and nurturing. Far from attacking the fetus as a foreign object, as the immune system can sometimes do, they ensure it gets the nutrients it needs to grow. The team that discovered this trait have taken the first steps to harnessing it to combat nutrient starvation of the fetus. IFLScience

Could cognitive interventions be useful in treating depression? – A new study has examined whether cognitive bias modification (CBM) for facial interpretation, a digital health intervention that changes our perception for emotional expressions from negative to positive, might be useful in treating depression. Science Daily

Lyme bacteria survive 28-day course of antibiotics months after infection – Lyme bacteria can survive a 28-day course of antibiotic treatment four months following infection by tick bite, according to a new study using a primate model for the disease. Despite testing negative for Lyme disease, some subjects were infected with Lyme bacteria in heart, brain and other organs. Science Daily

To sleep or not: Researchers explore complex genetic network behind sleep duration – Scientists have identified differences in a group of genes they say might help explain why some people need a lot more sleep — and others less — than most. The study, conducted using fruit fly populations bred to model natural variations in human sleep patterns, provides new clues to how genes for sleep duration are linked to a wide variety of biological processes. Science Daily

These weather events turned extreme thanks to human-driven climate change – For the first time, scientists have definitively linked human-caused climate change to extreme weather events. Science News