Daily Log #84

Work was mostly light today because I made it so. I spend more time chatting than working. One of the reason was because I decided to update the copy of visual studio 2017 that I was using as well as Windows. When I do work, I focus on developing several APIs for the purpose of tracking user activities, ranging from login to every click they do in the system. I also developed a few more APIs for the purpose of fetching who are the users currently online, and the list of users and their last online time.

I also decided to create one JIRA ticket to describe a new idea that I think of to help with a potential problem that I saw. For one, I don’t know if it is part of the user requirement specification but I’m approaching the problem as though I’m the one building the product. After all, that’s just how my brain works. I like creating stuff.

In the afternoon, at around three forty, I received an email from someone asking for my photo because my boss’s boss nominated me to be a member of the Environment, Health and Safety Committee. I was like, what the fuck? I have zero intention of being part of anything other than the project I’m on and I have always preferred to be very very low profile. Because at the end of the day, there are only a few things I care about and don’t want any more stuff. Minimalism at work is what I live by.

However, there are advantages to be part of the committee. For one, I get to meet more people. Number two, I may or may not get inspiration for my writings. To write good, I must experience something in real life. It doesn’t matter if I’m writing fiction or non-fiction. Three, like I mentioned yesterday, I’m a sucker for rules if there is any. If I get to be part of something to enforce rules, I don’t see why not. Just that I have to be very very careful and not let it destroy my mental health or overstimulate me.

I also came to the realization that there are many authors out there who only became successful (by successful, I mean at least have a piece of published work by a major publisher) in their mid-twenties or early thirties. There are some who only became full-time author in their forties because they had other careers or jobs before that. J.K Rowling for one only published the first Harry Potter book when she turned thirty-one and even then, it was a limited release. Subsequently, I came across another article on medium that talked about the importance of persistence. For as long as you don’t give up and just keep doing whatever it is you like, you will ultimately win the game. So that is what I will do.

I know I will probably whine and complain along the way but I mustn’t forget the bigger picture: everything I do should ultimately contribute back to making me a better writer. It could be as simple as writing a report for management, writing codes, be in a meeting for some audit, etc. And if I forget, I hope someone can remind me of that.

And one more thing. After I came back from work, I decided to get a haircut. So I changed into a pair of shorts, put on a pair of flip-flops, off I went to the salon. I had my hair cut to almost crew-cut like except for the top. It still retain a decent mop of hair. Well, I admit that it was getting difficult to manage my hair because of its length. I mean, it’s been five months since I last cut them. Secondly, the weather is rather hot and humid despite the rain.

Hmm… for some reason, my wrist decides to have some kind of intense rash from where both ends of the Apple watch’s straps are bounded together. It’s both painful and itchy. It’s also affecting my typing. Applied some aloe vera and will see if it helps.

Daily Log #81

Work today was pretty alright in terms of amount of things I need to do. Recently, I was told of a new requirement to track user activity in the application and to support various administrative function such as allowing another user (an admin) to kick an existing user out of his/her session.

Since all these are considered under identity management and access management, it falls under my purview. So I spent most of my day implementing stuff on the server side and then moving on to the frontend.

After lunch, one of my colleagues decided to publish a new version of the server side code to IIS. Now, she always have this problem of not getting the latest version of all source code for all modules before hitting that build and publish button. So end up, she didn’t get the latest server side code for the identity access module which contains fixes that I did two days ago. And in case you are wondering, I actually did publish a version containing that fix to the IIS two days ago.

And how I know what’s happening?

Well, later when she left office to join my team lead to go on an exhibition at Marina Bay Sands, another colleague of mine complained about not being able to login to the application and she was seeing the error message of “your account has been disabled.”

Of course, I can’t help but roll my eyes. This again.

As I was still working on my new task, the current version of my code isn’t deployment ready. So I told my colleague to give me a moment while I finish up the stuff on my side. At around 3.45pm, I did and published a new version of the server side application. At the same time, I also checked in the client side code and got my colleagues to get it. By about 4.15pm, everything is up and running. My colleague could continue with her other tasks.

And I get to continue working on my existing task, expanding the code to support other functionalities. I published the server application again and tested the changes I made to the client. All is working.

I call today a rather productive day by what I have accomplished: a new functionality of tracking user’s online status and laying the foundation for the activity tracking function as well as allowing admin to kick pre-existing users out of their session.

Later at night, I spent some time watching Ajin: The Demi-Human on Netflix. After about five episodes, I decided to stop and get down to write my novel. Thus far, I only managed to put in about four new paragraphs before I had to do something else. Then I switched to writing this Daily Log. I will see if I can get back to the novel again. And I found myself writing in the “as a matter of fact” style. There isn’t much description or decent use of adjectives. I feel like I suck as a storyteller. Oh well… more practice.

Daily Log #52

There is an upcoming demo involving very senior management on the customer side. Therefore, this week we got very busy deploying and testing. We even reached a point where the team lead took a development laptop to the customer’s data center where he could do immediate deployment of new codebase. So what the rest of us did was investing any bugs found and implement fixes in office. Then we send fixed codes, either in the form of screenshots or original source file via email, to our team lead who will implement it on the spot and test.

During the whole day of bug fixing, there is one new things I learnt.

The first was how JSON serializer from the .NET can take several seconds to process byte arrays into JSON strings. It was one of the reason why image download through HTTP using JSON and then rendering that image take three or even four times as long. So the fix was to convert the byte array into Base64 string before serialization into JSON.

However, the biggest issue I have with the whole situation was the urgency imposed on all of us and the amount bugs we need to fix in a short amount of time. I mean I did tell my colleagues how I work best on one task at a time but yet I still find myself having to deal with a whole bunch of thing to work in a short span of time. I suppose if not for my colleagues, I would have become quite frustrated and pissed off. Well, I did feel that towards the end. But the one thing I also realize is how focus I could be if I make a very conscious effort about it and implement the fixes.

I know I will need to keep working on my emotional resilience but there is also a saying by Gary Vaynerchuk: Double or triple down on your strengths instead of working to fix your weakness because fixing take a lot more energy and effort that you could better spend on becoming who you truly are and deploy them to create things for the world or help other people.

Tomorrow, I suspect it will be another day of hectic bug fixing as soon as my team lead find more.

Work aside, the other thing I did was to split my novel into five chapters instead of the original four. It turns out, chapter three alone could be split into two to focus on two different themes or should I say scenes. I also spent some time on my way to work to fix up some of the wordings and sentences for clarity, conciseness and make certain ideas read better.

As for the rest of tonight, I will watch the show call Superstition on Netflix.

Daily Log #49

I live through most of my days dealing with doubt and anxiety, especially when it is a new project or a new task I need to do.

That’s what I felt over the last two days because I have a major task to do on Wednesday… that’s today. Basically, what I have to do is to implement a feature where the application will show a series of thumbnails derived from the same image based on the size and location of enclosing boxes drawn. Lucky for me my colleague suggested that I reuse an existing module that I have already done to display the search result in an image gallery manner. So I copy the pre-existing code over, added more codes and variables to support the feature. By late morning, the main capabilities was already done. But me being conscientious about what I have implemented, also looked at function overlaps and seek to remove those. I also look at how to improve the overall user experience.

Later in the afternoon, I spent some time guiding the intern on how to implement some stuff. In the past, I have never liked to mentor people nor do I have the patience for it. As of late, I came to internalize the fact and practicality of being a mentor. And that is you get to grow as a person and it also fulfill my personal goal of helping people live stress free. After all, I know what’s like to do my work without some kind of mentor or help and I don’t want the intern to feel the same thing as I did.

After that, I had to focus on fixing a specific bug related to image downloading and passing it over to another module for the purpose of doing feature extraction. What happened was that the image wasn’t displayed even after the image has been downloaded. It turns out the image wasn’t really downloaded fully and the rendering of image was done using a null array. So the solution was to rely on a series of event handlers attached to the BitmapImage class and the enclosing class. The moment the download is completed and the image is ready, the handlers are triggered and will force a refresh of the WPF Image component.

At the same time, my team lead asked me about a bug encountered by another team mate. That definitely irritate me because I did mention before that I prefer to focus on one task at a time and multi-tasking is very expensive for me. So I kind of do a quick explanation of what happened. I definitely notice a mild raise of my voice and my other colleague, who’s free now, helped to put the data necessary into the database and all is well.

I also had an interview with the hiring manager from a company which specializes in cryptocurrency payment solution over Skype. It’s a company that attempts simplify the use of cryptocurrency to pay for services and product through its own products and services. Their products also support pre-existing payment solution such as the use of credit card. The job role that I am interviewing for is Technical Writer. The role primarily is about translating technical information from Chinese to English that is for the company’s customers and users. The documents could range easily from user manuals and troubleshooting guides to implementation guides. So far, I really felt like this is for me until the three things I heard that are red flags for me.

Now a lot of my decisions when it comes to a new job these days are based on how much something will pull me away from my comfort zone, whether I will have to sacrifice my health for it, and whether I can fit into the company culture. Different company has a different culture. So taking into account my highly-sensitive nature that leads to lower energy levels, I definitely won’t work very well in a company that demand you to work like you are constantly on-call basis or require you to multi-task or suddenly switch your environment. It creates a massive mental load on me and stresses me out. The other thing is I never like to travel overseas for work. This new job requires me to do that because of the way the company is structured. There are employees everywhere in the world and you need to interact with them and sometimes flying over. So this is definitely not for me.

Yet deep down, I feel like, “It’s technical writing! It’s something that I want to be doing going forward as a career or job. It doesn’t matter if it is on a full-time basis or contractual basis. I just want to write.”

So I’m dealing with this internal struggle of wanting to do something new but didn’t want to stretch myself too thin or land into hot soup just for it. There has to be a balance there.

After the interview, I let the job agent know. Then we had a chat about the interview and I did share some of my concern I mentioned above. The agent said she will try to help me to the best of her ability and share some truths with the interviewer. Personally, I’m willing to hear what the next interviewer, most likely the VP, have to say if the company come up with some concessions. It’s a give and take situation and up to me if I can compromise too. So I shall see how it goes later.

And tomorrow, I will have to go down to the customer office to do more deployment. The customer has a major demo next week that involves people higher-up in the chain of command. So I have to ensure the application is deployed properly and working by the end of the day. There will also be a scheduled demo pre-run at the HQ of the customer of the application this Friday.

Musings – Software Development

  1. It’s always best to avoid rolling your own implementation of things like database connection managers, encryption unless you want to deal with the pain six or seven years later, assuming you are still working on that project. And if you are a newbie or junior developer with less than 1 year of real world working experience, do not even think about rolling your own.
  2. Troubleshooting and debugging a software bug in an old piece of software that you built five years ago without documentation or with poor code style is like hunting for a specific color of needle in a haystack but you forgot which haystack and where it is, even if it is right in front of you. When you finally found the haystack, you forgot which color of needle you are looking for.
  3. If you are a highly-sensitive person and love programming, software engineering as a career may not be the best choice for you. Projects are extremely time-sensitive, multi-tasking is required, majorly understaffed, and people are mostly logical. So depending on the level of your sensitivities and ability to manage those sensitives, you are probably better off working for yourself or do programming on the side. Of course, the company you work for and the culture could affect your choice. If your team and management totally understand it, know the strength of a highly sensitive person and appreciate those strength while seeking to help mitigate the weaknesses, then yes, you can do it as a career. Otherwise, get out and find something else to do. Cultivate a new passion.
  4. Your years of software development experience doesn’t necessary means you can be a senior developer. It is especially so if you haven’t develop the skills to be a senior developer or a lead developer. In that case, either you improve yourself and develop those skills, work for yourself or lower your ego, pride and salary, and continue to be a junior developer.

Daily Log #40

While I was getting my daily Starbucks drink, the manager at the counter asked me how many times I get drinks from Starbucks per day. I told her one. Then she asked if I drink it every day including weekends. I told her no. The reason she’s asking was because I’m always at the store just before I make my way to office and most of the time, she’s at work too.

There were a few staffs who recognize me because of my frequent patronage. When I didn’t go there on a particular day, they will ask where I go the next time I visit. Because of this, I do feel bad not going and get something. But I also have to be aware of how much money I’m actually spending there and the occasional deprivation is important so that the mind doesn’t become truly addicted.

At work, I focus on doing a bunch of refactoring and renaming of existing classes and functions because I want to adhere to using domain-specific or user-specific terminology language. A big part of that want comes from the desire to express my codes correctly so that there are no confusion between what the user want and what is implemented. My colleagues, well, they are still stuck with the mindset of letting whatever that is in the external system leak into our current application. There may not be any problems in the short term but in the long term, when it comes to maintenance, it will be a nightmare for future teammates because of the disconnect. There will be confusions…

Hmm…

It just dawn on me that there is a basis to this aversion to letting the concepts, naming, or values from an external system leak into our current application. That basis is authenticity and self-identity. These two are something that I value a lot. Letting the concepts from another system enter into the our application is like you as a person let another person define who you are.

For example, if another person say you are tall, you accept that and make yourself tall. Then so if another person call you ugly, you accept that and make yourself ugly?

I don’t believe anyone would do that right?

This is erosion of self. And in some case, it’s just impossible. If you are short, you can’t make yourself tall. It’s confusing to other people who are looking at you. They won’t understand why you are making yourself into something you are not.

So if you don’t do such a thing to yourself, why do you make the application you develop become something it is not and use values or data that doesn’t belong in its core domain?

Where is that adapter?

What is that translator?

This is why my codes now are being refactored to rely on those things I mentioned. Every class files that I have created are put into their proper folders with a certain structure. Functions and variables are properly named. I just cannot tolerate the lost of identity, meaning and context within a given application built for a specific purpose.

For example, if it is an accounting application, the terms (be it function name, variable name, etc) has to be related to the actions or operation founds in accounting.

In the case of my colleagues, since they don’t really want to follow and the team lead didn’t enforce, I will just leave their stuff alone. At the end of the day, from management’s perspective, as long as something works, who cares about code style. At least that’s my view of people in management, especially those higher than project managers.

After work, I went home, had a quick shower and joined my mom and sister for dinner.

An hour after dinner, I decided to go for a run because it’s time for me to stop finding excuses not to run on a weekday. Previously (six months ago to be precise), I put a run schedule in my calendar for every Tuesday at 9 PM but I always ignored it because there was always something else to do: Netflix, Writing, and more Netflix. I’m rather disappoint with myself for lacking that discipline.

Anyway, the good thing about running at night is it’s cooler and there are less people on the street. That also mean lesser chance of encountering smokers walking around.

Second hand smoke is already bad for health, and especially so if one is running as you will be taking in bigger breaths. Despite the statistics of 1 non-smoker dying from smoke-related illness like lung cancer, the government isn’t doing anything about it. At least not in a meaningful way that will reduce 1 to 0. I personally believe it has to do with the tax collected from cigarette sales because it’s the only thing that’s more important than health. That’s also what my friends have been saying too: There’s a lot of tax to collect from cigarettes, the government won’t ban it outright. So until I’m shown otherwise, I’m sticking to this view.

After the run, I had another shower again.

Then I got down to write this log. Along the way, hunger struck and had to make myself a cup of oats.

Hmm… it’s already 11.20pm and I hadn’t really put in any new words for my novel. Anyway, I’m tired too so I will sleep early and wake up earlier.

Daily Log #35

The last few days I found myself feeling very bored with my work and was doing everything else but work itself. The reason was very simple. I felt like I have reached the pinnacle of my programming career.

Now, that’s not to say that there are nothing new to learn. There are so many programming languages out there and different frameworks to play with. What I feel bored with is the building of CRUD applications that doesn’t even have rich domain. I have done that in all my programming jobs and have enough of it. I want something new as there’s nothing new to learn when it comes to implementation of CRUD applications.

To develop a CRUD application, first the requirements must be gathered from user just like any other software development projects. Then when it comes to implementation, it generally goes like this: Create a form, gather input, validate input and send data to database. Create a search form, gather filter, perform database query, return result. Add a few buttons here and there with maybe more forms for user to delete or update the existing data.

At the center of the application is just a bunch of codes that simply route data from one end to another, like a production line. There’s just no story to tell with CRUD applications. As someone who loves story telling, care deeply about meanings and context, this kind of thing makes me cringe.

Then I was introduced to Domain Driven Design which is a software development methodology. When you do Domain Driven Design, you have to collect user stories and determine from there how to build the software, starting with the core. Design is important here and it’s generally a creative process. It also requires the development of something call ubiquitous language. Then when it comes to the actual implementation, how you name your functions, variables, etc, ideally should follow a pre-defined style based on the ubiquitous language.

At the end of it, that methodology speaks to me intimately and I love it. Through it, I can finally write my codes so that I can form an essay. But it is not suitable for CRUD application development as far as I can see. It’s like using a sledgehammer to hammer a tiny nail to hang your picture on the wall. The Singapore companies I worked for do not have domain driven design practitioners too. I’m not sure if I will see it anywhere else locally as I don’t have enough exposure or experience.

With this perceived gap, the only thing I think would re-inspire me again and make me feel alive programming is to work on something huge that push my programming skills to the limit. I’m thinking video game development or smart software development. It’s one of the few softwares in the world that is more than just CRUD.

But to even be a game developer, I will need to show that I can do it and that means I will need to spend even more time writing codes and a big part of me wants to write fictions instead…

I have definitely put myself in a pickle. Not.

I just have to cultivate other kind of interests in my current job and that would be software design. Then I can stay there to draw a monthly salary while still feel somewhat alive. But first I need to ask around to see if I can change my job scope.

Daily Log #29

Today wasn’t really a productive day at work. And my definition of productive is having create something visible and of use.

In the morning, it was dominated by a meeting where we discussed what to do next and who will do what.

There were two notable things about the meeting. One was how no one seemed to be very enthusiastic with taking on stuffs to do. The other was our colleague, XX, no longer seemed to be very vocal about design and implementation details. According to YL during lunch, XX must have realized she took on too much work that consistently made her work overtime.

After lunch, the intern and I can’t even seem to do anything except chat with each other because of the ongoing construction. Our chat was mostly about Marvel movies and the X-men movie. The timeline and all that.

As for the construction, well, our room is actually right beside the site so all the vibration and noise will reach us first. I’m not sure about the rest of the people in room, I for one couldn’t take it. It actually gave me a headache and even after stuffing my ears with AirPods, I could still feel the vibration from the drilling.

However, I did try to squeeze in a little bit of work later in the afternoon by doing some basic design of the user interface for the new functionalities.

This time around, the assignment of work is different from before. There are three use cases with four tasks each. XX continues to be responsible for the communication between our system and the other systems for a total of three tasks. She is no longer in-charge of the database design. The rest of us each took three tasks for each use case to design the database, implement the business logic and do up the user interfaces. Previously, it had been XX doing the database design and writing the server-side codes.

Anyway, it would keep us busy for the next month or so.

In the meantime, our team lead also suggested that the other less critical tasks should be given to other developers that will be joining us soon. Some of the less critical tasks involved user authorization and I have no desire of handing that over.

The reason is simple. I don’t want to deal with people writing codes that doesn’t fit the existing code style that I use. I don’t want to clean up other people’s ugly code.

But I don’t own the code and I’m aware that I shouldn’t treat it so personally. So what I could do get myself to let it go and advise the newcomers on how and why I write that way. Then, I will leave them to do their thing.

The other thing I also decided to do today was learning to write with my left hand more often. For a start, I write notes using my left hand. I actually felt weird and very tired for some reason. I also noticed that after about an hour of working with my left hand, it became more dominant and I use it to do a lot of things, e.g., opening doors, washing my cups. Then I had to make a conscious decision to switch back to my right. It’s fun in a way.

You must be wondering why am I doing that. Well, I want to be ambidextrous. Although the current neuroscience research isn’t conclusive about the effects of trained ambidextrousness, I still treat it as a skill to learn. I see it as having my left hand complement what I can do far more effectively with my right hand. You know like those people who play music instrument and could seamlessly transit between using either hand and those who can play launchpads where the left hand is hitting one set of buttons while the right hand is hitting another set of buttons.

I came across this music video and I didn’t thought much of it until half way through. It actually does make me pretty sad.

Daily Log #28

Somehow my mood today isn’t that of the typical Monday blue and went to office feeling surprisingly lightweight. Or I should say more cheery. Once in office, I spent the first half an hour listening to music on my AirPods while chatting away with my friend Jas.

She told me something had happened to her and wasn’t feeling very good. All I did was just be there and listen (read to be precise) what she got to say. I offered a little bit of encouragement here and there. I really hope she can pull through whatever she is going through right now and I told her if she need professional help, she should go get it. Don’t go through it alone.

After that, I spent some time doing actual work of coding. I went and fixed some bugs found in the application while trying to sync up the codebase with what my colleagues had done.

I nearly made the mistakes of committing a whole bunch of framework files and old version of configuration files that no longer work just moments before lunch. It all started from a version conflict that was automatically resolved by Team Foundation Version Control module when I hit checked in. The module had blocked me from committing my existing changes. So as usual, I hit the check in button again without realizing that those other files were auto-included for my next check in. I only realized half way through when I saw 400 over files were included while the progress bar was running. I quickly hit cancel and exclude those files. I checked in the codes again before I went to the web client for the Team Foundation Server to see the changeset. I just want to double check that the earlier check in didn’t go through.

So it’s an important lesson to always remember. When you are working with source code and want to check them into version control, always double check before you hit that check in or commit button. Sometimes, it would be hard to roll back the changes.

I changed my lunch today and went with a plate of Japanese curry with pork katsu, omelette and croquette. After that, I went to the supermarket with my colleagues to get a box of green tea and a pack of soy milk.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in meeting where we discussed what to do next and what’s the plan. There are several key milestones when we have to deliver something. Throughout the meeting, I somehow found myself participating in the discussion and giving ideas. I have also switched to using more English when I speak.

Previously, I spoke more mandarin out of courtesy for my colleagues because they are from China but I realize even though I’m trilingual, a polygot if you count programming languages, I’m not especially good. Even my English. Yes, I know I write primary in english but I still don’t think I’m good enough. There are some phrases or idioms or references that I don’t know about.

Anyway, I decided today that I want to improve my English further because I have a better command of it than my Mandarin. Therefore, I think it would be easier. I also declared to my colleague, YL, that I will use English in office. Later, she found it odd that I keep switching back to Mandarin from time to time despite my intention to use English during the meeting. Well, I can’t help it. Living in Singapore, you are exposed to all kind of languages and once you understood what the words means, you can mixed them around and still form a correct sentence structure with the intended meaning.

YL also said I sound weird when I use mandarin due to my wrong use of words. Then she cited a scene from Pacific Rim: Uprising about the use of Mandarin and English. Ha!

While going through the project timeline, there was a mention of needing to do late night application deployments. Well, I cringe at the thought of that and I swear to god, I won’t do it no matter the amount of money they give me or how many off days they give.

I just will not sacrifice the “me” time that I get after the usual 9am to 6pm work hours. And it’s also the only time that I can do my writings peacefully, if not reading or general relaxation. So this the no-compromise part from me. I will not sacrifice my health for work reason. Just not worth it.

Now of course, I have done late night work before. It was with my previous job. There was once I went home from work at 11.30pm. By the time I got home, it was already 12.30am. After shower and all that, it was already 2am. Best part was because I didn’t have enough time to wind down properly like I do now (I need about 4 hours of me time), insomnia became the only response. At 7.30am, I went back to work for the full day again until 7.30pm. Then I had another partial insomnia again. It completely wreaked havoc on my health and I am not even sure if I recovered from that even though it’s been a year. I know for sure I won’t want to go through that again.

The meeting ended at around 6pm, I went home straight. It was raining very heavily too but I didn’t mind. I used the chance to slowly stroll.

Once home, I found myself using the massager a few times and my neck muscles are all so sore and painful. I suppose it meant that my neck muscles hasn’t really been subjected to such “workout” in a long time. I will spent another twenty minutes tonight, just before I go to bed, using the massager again.

Daily Log #22

I will split this Daily Log into two parts.

The first part is about what I’m feeling now, March 28, 2018, and the second part is what happened yesterday. I didn’t really sit down and write before turning in for the night. So I will write based on what I remember.

Part 1

I have this weird feeling where I feel like I don’t really need a Daily Log anymore to document my life or the things I do. It’s like Daily Log is a training wheel for me into the world of non-fiction writing just like fan fiction is a training wheel for me into the world of fiction writing.

But you know what?

I’m not gonna stop writing my Daily Log at least for the foreseeable future. Yes, there would be days when I feel like shit, frustrated, depressed but Daily Log is an important asset for my writing. It provides me with actual written proofs of what I have done so that I can write better than articles in the future when I do go back and review them. As I get older, I will gain more experiences and perspectives that would allow me to distill my earlier writings into lessons learnt.

That is of course if I backup all my writings properly and don’t lose them. I did lose hundreds, if not thousands, of my writings because I went and delete them from my blog because I wanted to start from scratch again.

Now, I’m actually struggling with something. I’m not sure whatever I just wrote above is better suited for a Daily Log or a separate standalone article? I guess I will just keep it here. It did give me an inspiration for another article though.

Anyway, I figured out why I was having a writer’s block for my Daily Log yesterday. A big part of it was due to my frustration with myself mostly about what I’m doing with my writing. There was this intense internal turmoil that can’t seem to go away. I nearly wanted to flip my laptop off the desk. Lucky I didn’t…

I know I’m everywhere and that’s actually my intended direction I’m taking my writing. However, I am easily influenced by what I read about specializing and the stats of my writing. Yes, I still hadn’t really gotten over the stats.

Then another reason was because I didn’t have a good night sleep and it was in part affecting my ability to recollect and distill my experience.

I’m back now and feeling better…

Part 2

There were four notable incidents.

The first saw me feeling angsty and didn’t really want to talk. It was in part related to the day before. It turns out my gut knows something is wrong but my conscious mind didn’t know what it was until I went to chat with my friends.

The description I wrote for my Medium profile was actually inaccurate. It mentioned something about what I’m interested in and thus somewhat implied those are the topics I will be writing about. The truth is, I’m writing because I simply enjoy the process of sharing my thoughts and not the topics. By stating the topics I’m interested in, I’m actually indirectly narrowing myself which pretty much goes against who I am.

The second incident was getting pulled into a meeting that later became obvious it didn’t really have anything to do with me. But it was during the meeting that I started to see the whole picture. The whole project looks like a mess where things are running concurrently and the different leads are finding ways to solve some problems. Somewhat the people in the meeting organize themselves into three groups and started discussing within each group. I was just there listening to all three. It sounded like a wet market and I could feel it internally. The tension is building and I’m about to blow up. Luckily I get to leave the meeting when it became obvious I’m not needed there given how the discussion was going.

The third was my colleagues and I somehow found a way to work together once more to deliver something despite our misgiving. I think it’s because we managed to keep most of our interaction professional and not turn the whole office into a war zone. So there aren’t any bad taste in the mouth.

By the end of the day, I managed to finish implementing the move and resize functions for the rendered image selection boxes. After a quick demo to my team lead, he thank me for the job done. I started looking into how to implement click-drag using the mouse to move the image inside the viewport. The images user upload could be big in resolution but the viewport had to be kept small due to screen size constraint. To me, this will be an interesting challenge going forward.

That’s all for now, I will need to go to work.